This lighter in my hand and the tar up on my nails
Just the average marks of a hard egg on the shell
Carry average weight, but let my guard down on the scale
And it never adds up like what’s the wind without a sail
What’s prison without a cell and bars, gimme them keys, then
Countin’ down the minutes until they sign my releasin’
Say you’re out of ink, I got fistfuls of these pens
Fuck up every time I think I’m right about to reach zen
Shit just pulls me back down, thought I severed ties
Used to be the honest type, the one who never lies
Now my whole life is just an entrapment in disguise
Don’t bother to ask further when I tell you that I’m fine
Just know I’m waitin’ patient for the day that I demise
Explains why the hurt and pain is ingrained in my eyes
Sicka bein’ open one day, the next, lockin’ down inside
This flutter of stress and emotions just makes me wanna cry
It’d just be another lie if I said I didn’t grieve
For what, I cannot tell because I’ve never really seen
The only clues I bring with me is that is was serene
Then the director yelled cut and moved on to a new scene
And as if by design, it doesn’t include me
Left me on the set and cut my role from off of the screen
And every day I wake up, it makes me want to scream
Because my reality sucks and I prefer to live in dreams
Where plans are carried out and everything is how it seems
Where everything is right and I never have to think
Where motives are never questioned and I never have to drink
Because my life is perfect, so when I hear that ring
It’s just another entrance into a bleary bleak existence
One I’m forced to live due to the love of my life’s insistence
But she doesn’t love me back, I’m just one of Cupid’s victims
Fell into the trap of just another stupid system
Wonder if people look at me and know just who I’m missin’
Constant rumination of when me and boo were kissin’
Everything was goin’ good then I got a taste of pain
It multiplied instantly, I never did anything in vain
It was from the heart, the couple songs that I sang
The thoughts I let her know that were always on my brain
The dreams I had about her and the future that we had
But I lost her somehow so now I’m back to pen and pad
It simply doesn’t feel the same and I doubt I will as well
This cloud that follows called love has a pit reserved in Hell
When it’s goin good, not a damn thing could be finer
I’d wake up every morning wishing I was right beside her
The difference now is I still do except it will not happen
They say never say never, but a long time is distractin’
Waitin’ for the cameraman to roll, clipboard claps and yell action
Pick up at the same spot before all of this crap, then